Saturday, October 02, 2010

I’ll Take Fries With My Basket, Please

I know there’s a “men are from Mars, women are from Venus” thing about communication between the sexes, but every so often an event happens to me that makes this concept crystal clear.
Longaberger Sign Such was a day recently when Brenda said “I’d really like to visit the Longaberger Basket place.  Hmmm, I thought….I’ve really enjoyed Whataburgers, Steakburgers, and even a Freddy’s Butterburger; although I’d never heard of a Longaburger, I do love those burger baskets with fries, and maybe some coleslaw.  So off we went.
OK, so now you’re thinking “what kind of idiot doesn’t know about Longaberger Baskets?”  Well, almost any man idiot, that’s who.  And I can prove it because as we strolled the grounds and Longaberger Mapstores I was one of only three men in the midst of hundreds of women, all of us men having confused looks on our faces, being led around by our wives. 
It’s an amazing place, the Longaberger Homestead.  Large tour busses were lined up disgorging their loads of blue-haired ladies by the hundreds, all with frenzied looks as they streamed to buy baskets and hand crafted nick-nacky stuff.  Brenda was in woman-shoppers heaven, while I was confused with what all this stuff did.  Why do you need a “cookie paddle”?  To spank them?   Do jars really need “bonnets”?  These and other mysteries befuddled me, although I did find one valuable product, a “woozie” (a coozie for a wine glass).   Things dealing with alcohol I generally understand. 
Longaberger's Big Basket I quicklLongaberger's interiory went from befuddlement to shock when we entered the “factory store”.  Here in this huge warehouse were tables covered with baskets stretching endlessly in all directions.  I stopped at one table and picked up a small basket, no more than 6 inches square with a handle….and saw that the “sale” price was $124.00!  Egads!  It wasn’t even big enough for a decent burger, let alone fries!
Fortunately, Brenda sensed my confusion and led me to the “Homestead Kitchen”, where I recovered thanks to a two-scoop cup of raspberry-chocolate chip ice cream.  Even more fortunately, Brenda didn’t find anything she liked enough to buy.  Thank you, Brenda!
We’re enjoying visiting friends from our past working life in Dayton, but we’ll be out and about to look for new adventures – stay tuned!